BrightAlternatives's Blog

Believe in Miracles

Bright Alternatives Inc — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 13:56:09 +0000

Believe in Miracles

Early in 2008 I was getting the message through prayer and meditation that God wanted me to be a writer. I had no experience as a writer and knew nothing about the writing/publishing industry. So… I ignored the calling to be a writer, by justifying that I had a successful career as a counselor and I had no experience as a writer.
That year, for the first time in my 19 year career as a counselor, I received a complaint from my licensing board, one of my contracted insurance companies was not paying me for seeing their clients, and my expenses were quickly increasing, because I had to hire a lawyer and a contracted supervisor to help me problem solve these issues. As it became more stressful for me to continue at my private practice, it began to occur to me that the only way God could make me become a writer, was by making it very difficult for me to stay at my private practice, and this was exactly what was happening.
In September 2008 I retired my professional counseling license and began to write. I started ‘sitting for guidance’ each day, and asking God why he wanted me to be a writer and what he wanted me to write about. He let me know that my writing would bless many and he gave me 16 different subjects to write about. He gave me signs in my dreams that the path would be clear for me to do this work and he would remove all obstacles if I would write. I wrote all these things down, so that when I had doubts about writing, I could be reminded that writing was what I was supposed to be doing.
I finished writing my first book, Good Things Emotional Healing Journal~ Addiction in 2009.
I did not know any editors, illustrators or publishers to send my book to, so I asked God to help me find the people he wanted my book to go to. My webmaster told me about an editor he knew, so I called her. When she told me how much she charged, I told her I could not afford her services, because I was receiving no income by writing. She ended up negotiating with me for a small amount and a back end of the book sales.
I began looking for illustrators on-line and there were so many amazing ones, I didn’t know who to choose. I asked God to help me find the illustrator that he wanted to illustrate my book. He gave me the name ‘Bryan Mouse.’ I googled it. There was 1 person with that name, and one link that said “Bryan of Tenacious Mouse…” I contacted both of these people, whom I never met and asked them if they happened to be illustrators. Bryan, of Tenacious Mouse contacted me from the Yukon and said he had done some illustrations and he was interested in illustrating my book. His fees were also more than I could afford, but he was willing to negotiate for a small amount and back end of the book sales, once the book was published.
Now I was ready to send my edited and partially illustrated manuscript to a publisher! But who?
I joined some writers/authors groups on LinkedIn, in hopes of getting information from other published authors, on how to go about finding the right publisher for my book. I was encouraged to get a literary agent, since I was a first time, unknown author. I ended up e-mailing a few, and Meg McAllister who I never met before ended up giving me a call. She offered me suggestions for a query letter as well as a publisher. I took her advice and sent my manuscript to Morgan James Publishing. I got a call from David Hancock, the founder of the publishing company, saying he loved my book and was going to accept it! He also let me know that he received about 5,000 manuscripts a year and only publishes about 134.
I am still in awe of how this whole process turned out and how I was led to all the right people
I got my first copy of ‘Good Things Emotional Healing Journal~Addiction in the mail two days ago. I dedicated it to God, so that it goes to all the people who will be blessed and helped by its content.
“Make me understand what you want; for then I shall see your miracles.” Psalms 119:27

Written by Elisabeth Davies, MC
www.BrightAlternatives.com

Pursuing Peace of Mind

Bright Alternatives Inc — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 14:50:11 +0000

I have a client who I am currently working with, who after several months of trying to put his finger on why he keeps relapsing on percocet, came to his aaha moment.
One of the questions I asked him during our session, was ‘What does percocet give you relief from, that you can’t seem to find in a healthier way?’
He replied, “It shuts off the voice in my head that says ‘use’ and it calms me down.”
I did a 30 minute guided imagery technique with him, so he could gain more conscious awareness of his addiction to percocet. Once he was in a ‘sleep breathing’ state, one of the questions I asked him, was “Where in your being do you hold your addiction to percocet?”
He softly replied, ‘In my arms.’
I asked him to take a closer look at his percocet addiction, with his mind’s eye and notice if it had a shape, color, weight or any defining qualities.
He said his addiction was ‘dark and heavy.’
I asked him to visualize a strong magnetic field about 3 to 4 feet in front of him. I had him imagine breathing out the percocet addiction energy, with each exhale, until it was all on the magnetic field in front of him, so that he was aware of a space between himself and the addiction.
I asked him to have a dialogue with this addictive energy, by asking questions like, “What keeps you in my being?” and “What can I say or do that would release you from my being?”
I said, “When you feel like you receive the information you need, go ahead and say ‘ok.’
When he was finished, I had him write down what had occurred for him, during this experience.
I asked him if there was anything he wanted to share with me.
He said, “I need more peace of mind and percocet is the only thing I know that gives me relief from my thoughts.”
Bingo! The aaha moment was reached
Many times we relapse with an unhealthy habit or substance in an effort to seek relief from our negative or overwhelming thoughts.

Some healthy ways to pursue more peace of mind are:
* Doing a meditation
* Closing your eyes and breathing in
peace with each inhale, for 30-60
seconds
* Breathing out all negativity from
your being, throughout your day
* Doing yoga or holding stretches for
15-30 seconds each
* Listening to relaxation music
* Being in nature and noticing the
beauty
* Sitting in a jacuzzi for 15-20 minutes
* Reading something that is calming
* Saying a prayer
* Taking a break from things that are stressful to you
Doing things each day that add more peace of mind to our being can make us less vulnerable to relapse.
My client told me at the end of his session, “I’m going to stay sober.”
Yeah!
written by Elisabeth Davies, MC
www.brightalternatives.com

You Are Not Powerless Over Your Addiction!

Bright Alternatives Inc — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 00:07:48 +0000

It is human to desire pleasure. If we were to abstain from all pleasurable activities, life would become ungratifying and reward less. Pleasurable substances and activities offer us a relief from stress and life’s difficulties. The key is to moderate our participation with pleasurable substances and activities so that we are not causing harm to ourselves or others.
It is easy to become addicted to things that are physically or mentally pleasurable, like food, sex, enjoyable substances, exciting activities, stimulating fantasy thoughts, etc. When we participate with pleasurable activities, our brain releases a chemical called Dopamine. Our brain remembers this pleasurable feeling and wants more and more. If we continue participating with a substance or activity to a level that causes negative consequences for us, an addiction forms.
Our negative consequences could be:
*Financial, from excessive spending, gambling, shopping etc.
*Physical, such as obesity from overeating, lung problems from too much smoking, health problems from too much alcohol and drugs etc.
*Emotional, from impulsive or self-degrading thoughts. Self-destructive choices due to feeling unloveable, or unworthy of happiness etc.
*Relationship based, from sexual misconduct, self-centered choices, dishonesty or isolating, etc.
If we are told and come to believe that we are powerless over our addiction, then our belief can help create that reality.
Powerless means ‘Lacking power to act; helpless’. You always have the power to act in a non-destructive way. You are not helpless to make a healthy choice, instead of a harmful one.
We were born with free will, which means voluntary decision. This indicates we are free to decide what substances or habits we will or will not participate with.
Addictions are often used as an attempt to cope or distract from uncomfortable feelings that arise from past childhood abuse, anxiety, depression and unhealed hurts. Not everybody wants to give up their addiction, because they may not have found something better, that can replace the relief or pleasure they still get from participating with their substance or habit.
For people who do want to manage their addiction and choose a healthy lifestyle, with fewer negative consequences, addiction is treatable. Recovery is always a choice that you have the power to make!
Some treatment options include:
* Individual counseling. Psychology Today has lists of thousands of qualified professionals www.psychologytoday.com
* Support groups that encourage addiction free lifestyles. This could be a 12 step group www.12stepgroups.com
* Spiritual support through Church, meditation, yoga, God, nature etc.
* Reading books and articles that offer strategies and helpful information for addiction free-living www.amazon.com/Books-about-Addiction/lm/2BCO53ZEZV1JB
* Addiction free help lines
www.freeaddictionhelpline.com

http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Live-Addiction-Free

* Inpatient treatment facilities for addiction:

http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov

It is important that every addict know that they are loved and have value as a human being.

Written by Elisabeth Davies, MC
www.brightalternatives.com
Elisabeth would love for you to join her addiction Facebook page
www.facebook.com/pages/Elisabeth-Davies-MC/168307950101?v=wall&ref=pdem

Your Perseverance Will Pay Off

Bright Alternatives Inc — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 18:53:40 +0000

Yesterday, I went for a jog to de-stress from all the bills I have to pay this month. I was trying to brainstorm about some possible solutions to increase my income, ASAP. I am aware that stressing out about bills is NOT a solution to increasing my income, apparently jogging doesn’t help pay the bills either!

As I was running, the concept of ‘perseverance’ kept coming to mind. I was reminded about a time back in 1993 when I was starting my private practice. I remember on the way home from work one night thinking, ‘What the hell am I doing? I can’t even pay my bills in this career. I go to school to get a Master’s degree in Counseling, and I made more money waitressing with no education!”

Fortunately, I stuck with being a counselor, because I loved it and I knew I didn’t want to be a waitress my whole life. Looking back, all my basic needs of food, shelter and clothing were still met the first several years of building a practice. As I stayed the course in spite of financial difficulties, obstacles and doubts, my practice grew and with that my income grew. Fifteen years later, I had a couple of offices, several employees and so many clients, I was booked out for six weeks at a time!

Now, two years into a new writing career that I love, I was hearing those same old thoughts from 1993 in my head.

I began to recall many of the important things I have in my life today. I have them because I persevered through the doubt, through the financial insecurity, through the unknown.

Take time to look back at your own successes, whether it was completing school, or having a long-term relationship, or raising children or purchasing a home, or managing an illness, or moving up in your career, etc. Note how perseverance played a significant role. Also , think back on times when you did not persevere through difficulties. What was the outcome?

Here are some tips that are helpful in persevering:

Write down your goals and put them where, you can read them everyday. Visualize the outcome.
When you have disappointing outcomes, find solutions, rather than surrendering to defeat.
Know that all of our successes happen because of the time and energy we put into them.
Timing isn’t always up to us. Be patient.
Verbally tell people what your goal is so you can be accountable.
Work on your goal several days a week, so that you have continuous movement toward progress.
De-stress to clear your mind and gain perspective.
Continue to educate yourself and increase your skills that are specific to succeeding with your goal.
Don’t allow outward conditions to shift you from doing your souls purpose.
Encourage yourself, encourage yourself, encourage yourself!

“If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend.”

– Joseph Addison

Please feel free to share your perseverance stories with me and others to inspire and encourage us in staying the course during life’s obstacles. Your perseverance will pay off!

written with perseverance by Elisabeth Davies, MC

www.brightalternatives.com

Is it Love, or Love Addiction?

Bright Alternatives Inc — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 20:18:16 +0000

We all have a basic human emotional need to be loved by someone. When someone truly loves us, we will feel wanted and valuable to them. If we were raised in a home with a parent or caretaker that did not make us feel wanted or valuable, we are inclined to attract relationships with ’love addiction’ qualities, rather than true loving qualities.

I first learned about ’love addiction’ years ago, when a therapist recommended I read a book called Facing Love Addiction, By Pia Melody. I knew it was common for people to be addicted to substances or unwanted habits. I hadn’t thought about someone actually being addicted to a distorted belief. Love addiction is a distorted belief that the person we love, loves us back, even though there is a lack of evidence to prove this.

So, what is the proof that we are in a relationship with true loving qualities?

Well, the first sign that it is real love, is that our relationship lasts. Real love perseveres through difficulty. If you truly love someone, you will maintain a long- term and often times, a life-long relationship with them. If your relationship is based on love addiction, the relationship will not last, because love addicts are in relationships to use other people to fulfill their own needs. As soon as their needs are not getting fulfilled, they will look for the next relationship to do this.

Another sign that you are in a relationship based on real love, is that real love is not self-seeking and looks for ways to enhance the relationship, by making choices that will benefit cohesiveness in the relationship. A love addict participates in relationships based on, what they can get from the relationship. They make choices that benefit themselves, regardless of the impact it has on the relationship.

Believing that another person can complete us, makes us prone to love addiction, because we are looking for something outside of ourselves to make us feel better, or fill a void. Real love comes from God and that is the only love that can complete us. Once we invite that love to live inside of us, we can unconditionally love ourselves, then we can offer real love in our relationships with others. Even to those who do not love us back.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16

I used to think that love was an emotion or feeling. Love is an action. We can demonstrate love, by being patient; kind, by not bein jealous or boastful; by not being arrogant or rude, by not being self-seeking, by not being easily angered, by forgiving, by protecting, by trusting, hoping, and always persevering (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). These are the actions we will be showing to ourselves and to others when we are demonstrating real love, in action.

If you find your self attracting short-term relationships with people who are not demonstrating loving qualities, or you are the one who goes from relationship to relationship, when you are not fulfilled, it is likely that your beliefs about love are distorted.

Some helpful things in healing from love addiction are; 1. Knowing that we are loveable, and we do not need another human being to validate that truth for us. 2. Knowing that we already are complete and we do not need another human being to complete us. 3. Learning to unconditionally love ourself, by continually affirming our value and not judging ourself for not being able to do things perfectly. 4. Educating ourself about what real love is by reading or seeking true information. 5. Challenging and questioning what we were raised to believe about real love, by using the above qualities as a guide to how we are acting in our relationships.

Here are some resources to learn more about love and love addiction:

www.thelovefoundation.com/unconditional_love.htm

www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200212/the-power-love

www.healthylovingrelationships.com/resources

Melody, Pia, wells, Andrea, Wells, J.Keith. Facing Love Addiction. San Francisco: Harper 1992

Williamson, Marianne. A Return to Love. New York: Harper Collins, 1992

This article was lovingly written by Elisabeth Davies, MC

www.brightalternatives.com where you can view loving affirmation for free!

Relapse As A Substitute For Our Needs Not Being Met

Bright Alternatives Inc — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 16:38:13 +0000

Often times we relapse into unwanted behaviors or destructive habits because our physical, emotional or spiritual needs are not being met.

The physical, emotional and spiritual parts of us are all inter-connected and communicate with one another, to allow full operation of our human functioning.

Our physical parts include everything that pertains to our body. Our emotional parts include our thoughts and feelings that make up our state of consciousness. Our spiritual part is our breath of life which is supported by the source of all living sustenance.

The most basic of our physical needs is food, water, exercise and sleep to maintain proper functioning of our body. The foods we eat affect our moods and energy levels. Certain amino acids can produce or decrease production of emotional neurotransmitters such as dopamine, epinephrine and serotonin, which enhance our mood. Protein helps maintain our energy by balancing our blood sugar levels so our energy does not fluctuate from energetic to tired throughout the day. *

Our bodies are always responding to what we put into them, how we treat them and the environments we expose them to. If taking good care of ourselves physically is not a priority to us, we are more likely to overeat and relapse into choices that can cause physical damage to our body. More than 127 million Americans are obese ( more than 30 lbs over weight) from compulsive overeating, making food addiction the # 1 addiction in the United States. Obesity can lead to other physical diseases, such as diabetes, hypertension, osteoarthritis and sleep apnea. **

Exercise also impacts our emotions. Researchers at Duke University found that 60% of the participants who exercised for 30 minutes three times a week overcame their depression without using antidepressant medication. *** Exercise offers many benefits to the physical and emotional parts of our being. To read about more benefits of exercise, go to www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/benefits-of-exercise.

Motivating ourselves to take good care of our physical body, starts with valuing and appreciating all that our body does for us, which allows us a fulfilling physical experience on this planet.

One way to begin valuing our body, is to give it loving messages. This makes us conscious of making healthy choices that can benefit it, rather than relapsing into choices that are physically damaging.

Some loving Body messages include:

I love my body because it allows me to see new and memorable things.
I love my body because it allows me to move and get from place to place.
I love my body because it can touch and sense new experiences.
I love my body because it can enjoy delicious foods.
I love my body because it can communicate verbally and physically with others.

Having our emotional needs met is just as important in not relapsing into unwanted behaviors and habits. The most basic of our emotional needs, is the need to love and be loved and the need to belong and have a sense of purpose in life. **** To be emotionally healthy we also need to feel safe in our environment. We need to feel supported, valued, treated fairly, accepted, competent, in control, helpful,and not confused about who we are. For an extensive list of human emotional needs go to www.eqi.org/needs.htm.

Emotions that are toxic and damaging to our being are;

Anger/vengeance
Envy/jealousy
Greed/self-indulgence
Judgment/segregation
Unforgiveness/blame

The majority of us do not get our emotional needs met growing up, due to being raised in a dysfunctional home. More than 72% of American homes harbor someone with an addiction, and according to the National Institute of Mental Health, one in four Americans suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder. ***** Due to these high levels of emotional dysfunction, when we become adults, most of us are having to learn from scratch how to become emotionally healthy. A common mistake many of us make, is that we depend on others to meet our emotional needs and make us feel loved, secure, accepted, competent and good enough. This unhealthy dependency often leaves us disappointed and getting the same poor results we got from childhood. Making it our responsibility to manage our thoughts and moods, is key to emotionally healthy living.

Relapsing with substances or destructive habits such as gambling, pornography, internet, food, shopping/spending, unfulfilling relationships etc often becomes our desperate attempt to seek something outside of ourselves to balance our negative emotions and feel better.

Ways to manage our thoughts and moods include;

Making a daily gratitude list, to increase contented thinking.
Listing 10 things we like about ourself every day, to increase self-esteem and a positive mood.
Being an observer of other people’s words and actions, rather than an absorber. Not personalizing what others say and do helps balance our emotions.
Breathing out all negativity from our being, each nite before going to sleep to help rebalance our emotional state from daily negativity. For more tips on emotionally healthy living go to www.brightalternatives.com

Having our spiritual needs met lessens our chance of relapse into unwanted habits and self-destructive choices as well. These needs include; inner peace, a sense of purpose and meaning, connection to unconditional love, a sense of power to create, freedom to choose, truth, wisdom, knowledge, faith and communion with our creator.

Not believing that we are unconditionally loved and worthy can block us from allowing spirits energy to fully express through us.

Ways to expand and grow spirituality in our being include:

Daily prayer and meditation with our creator
Breathing in unconditional love to our whole being each day
Daily reading of spiritual truths
Pursuing peace and harmony in all our relationships
Doing acts of kindness and goodness each day
Practicing self-discipline and moderation with self-gratifying habits and behaviors that distract us from being purposeful to others. These can include; alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography/immoral sexual acts, unnecessary spending/buying, hours of internet surfing, video games, television etc.

The pleasures of this world war against our soul.

Our desire to self-gratify, pushes aside our spirits desire to help others as its goal.

The physical and the spiritual each wanting to fulfil its purpose and desire.

The emotional turmoil only subsides when these two agree,

it is not about me that I am put on this earth, it is for thee.

Live healthy (=

Resources:

* http://www.essortment.com/family/mindbodyfooda_svda.htm

** http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression-and-exercise/MH00043

***http:/ /www.anonymousone.com/faq195.htm

**** http://marriage.about.com/od/marriagetoolbox/qt/emotionalneeds.htm.

***** www.theonion.com/articles/dysfunctional-family-statistically-average,4699/

written by: Elisabeth Davies, MC

www.brightalternatives.com

Life Coaching, What it is-What it isn’t

Bright Alternatives Inc — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 19:59:00 +0000

Life Coaching is a fairly new industry, developed in 1990. It’s roots can be traced to Benjamin Karter, a college football coach, turned motivational speaker in the late 1970′s early 1980′s.

Today Life Coaching is recognized by many career industries as its own distinct profession. Life Coaching is defined as a future-focused practice that helps clients specify and achieve their personal goals. 1

A Life Coach is not a psychotherapist. Psychological intervention is outside of the scope of a Life Coach. The State legislature of Colorado held a hearing on this matter in 1994 and concluded that , “Coaching is unlike therapy because it does not focus on examining nor diagnosing the past. Instead coaching focuses on effecting change in a client’s current and future behavior.” 2 A psychotherapist specializes in the treatment and diagnosis of mental illness or dysfunction. They are required to have a minimum of a masters degree in the related field of psychology and be licensed in their state of practice. Psychotherapists are state and government regulated.

Government agencies have not found it necessary to provide a regulatory standard for Life Coaches. There is no specific education or training requirement to become a Life Coach. Life Coach training-schools and programs are available to persons wanting to become a Life Coach. Erickson Life Coach School (www.erickson.edu/life-coach-school.com) and Express Coaching (www.expresscoaching.net) are two of many schools that are available. Typically it takes approximately 6 months to complete a Life Coach training program. A Life Coach can become certified or credentialed.
The specific techniques that many Life Coaches draw upon are developed from management consulting and leadership training,  which are rooted in executive coaching. Many Life Coaches draw on their style of practice from disciplines such as mentoring, counseling, sociology, personal development, and psychology.
A Life Coach may use techniques such as;  goal setting, mentoring, values assessment, role modeling and behavior modification in helping their clients. A Life Coach should ask their client powerful questions that help the client focus on what is most important now and for their future.
A client will want to seek out the services of a Life Coach for solutions to matters such as; financial freedom, career direction, better interpersonal relationships, achieving specific personal goals, being your best authentic self and reaching your full potential as a person.
If you are looking to hire a professional Life Coach, The Coach Exchange (www.thecoachexchange.com) is one of many places to find a qualified Life Coach.
Life Coaching is not covered by any Insurance Plans, so a client must pay out-of-pocket for services offered by a Life Coach. Typical prices for a Life Coach can range anywhere from $120 -$450 per hour. Some Life Coaches charge by the month for their services and their fees include utilizing them  by phone, e-mail, web cam, office or home visits as needed throughout the month. If you have more questions about how Life Coaches operate, Exceptional Coaching (www.exceptionalcoaching.com) is a website that answers general questions about Life Coaching.
Many professionals who have formal education and training in the field of counseling and psychology, choose to operate as a Life Coach, so they are not restrained by the regulations that are dictated by government or insurance agencies. The governing boards of licensed professionals have the legal right to any and all of the licensee’s client’s notes, without the permission of the client. In the same manner, If a client uses their insurance to pay for the services of an insured provider, the client’s insurance company has the legal right to their insured’s notes, diagnosis and any and all information that is shared with the provider. A Life Coach is not regulated by state, government or insurance agencies, therefore the Life Coach can guarantee total confidentiality of any and all information that is shared by their client. This is a significant benefit to clients who want to protect their personal information.

Tom Krapu, Ph.D, Clinical Psychologist, offers educational training through PESI Seminars to professionals who want to transform their practice into becoming a personal & executive Coach (info@pesi.com).

For those of you who are already great at reaching all your own personal goals, without the assistance of a Life Coach or trained professional, and have time to read, ’Life Coaching For Dummies,’ is a good personal resource book you can check out of your local library.

1. Wikipedia

2. http://wikipedia.org/wki/coaching

This article was written by Elisabeth Davies, MC Author & Life Coach

www.brightalternatives.com

Finding Peace Amidst Disarray

Bright Alternatives Inc — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 22:00:26 +0000

Each of us go through times in our life where we are presented with situations that can throw our lives into disorder. Maybe a loved one unexpectedly dies, or someone we love decides they don’t want to be in a relationship with us anymore. Maybe we get laid off of our job or get diagnosed with an unexpected medical condition. Each of us is going to have a list of examples when life unexpectedly presented us with a situation, that forced us to reorganize how we were currently operating.

Often times these unforeseen situations have not been presented to us before, so our lack of experience can put us at a disadvantage when trying to problem solve our disarray. Panic or stress may be our initial, unrestrained reaction. Unfortunately, neither of these are effective problem solving strategies! Becoming skilled in problem solving, offers much better results.

Since our brain is unable to effectively be in a high emotional state as we are simultaneously trying to logically solve a problem, taking a few moments to calm our emotions, is the first step in moving toward problem solving. This is where peace can really benefit us.

Peace is a state of tranquillity or serenity. We will know that we have achieved peace, when we feel untroubled by our situation. This may seem humanly unnatural, probably because peace is a spiritual quality, not necessarily a human quality. The good news is that we all have spirit’s qualities within us, so we have access to that source to feel peace in our human mind and body.

One quick way to increase inner peace, is by focusing on our breathing. Close your eyes and allow your body to breathe all by itself, without you assisting it in any way. Within about one minute, your muscle tension will decrease and your central nervous systems impulses will begin to regulate, for proper functioning. You can add a mental mantra while doing this breathing by saying, “breathing in peace and calm,” each time you inhale, and saying, “breathing out all stress and negativity in my body,” each time you exhale.

Trusting and letting go of controlling a situation when you need an outcome that is greater than your human ability, is what spirit is for.

Each of life’s trials are an opportunity for us to enhance our spiritual qualities and step up to the next level of life’s journey.

”Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.” John 14:27

Surrendering Your Will

Bright Alternatives Inc — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 22:44:23 +0000

With my new book coming out on the topic of addiction, I have been doing as much research as possible, in the addiction field. Last week I was reading Step Three from Twelve Steps And Twelve Traditions. I was contemplating the importance of this step in the recovery process.

Step three states, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.”

Every time we participate with our addictive habit or substance, it is our will or desire that we are exercising. It is not the desire of our children, nor is it the desire of our partner, nor the desire of our employer, or co-workers, etc. that we participate with our addictive habit or substance. It is us willfully doing what we want, for us.

If our will made choices that were always for our highest good, then addiction would certainly not be our problem! When we compulsively participate with habits and substances that are causing us negative consequences with our relationships, our finances, our goals, our self-worth, our health, etc. this is not for our highest good.

When we make the decision to turn over our will to the will of God, and align with his will for us, our desire to please ourself first will become secondary to pleasing God.

For addicts, this can be scary because we want to be able to do what we want, when we want, without having to pause and check in with God. We may be afraid to turn over our will to God as we understand him, because this may mean we can’t be self-centered and how is that going to bring us any pleasure? Can we really trust that Gods will can make our life better?

Why should we surrender our will and our lives over to the care of God?

God doesn’t promise pleasure, but he promises peace (John 14:27). Does compulsively participating with our habits and substances give us that?

God “plans to prosper you and not harm you.” He “plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). Does compulsively participating with our habits and substances give us that?

Alcoholics Anonymous says, “It is when we try to make our will conform with God’s that we begin to use it rightly. To all of us, this was a most wonderful revelation. Our whole trouble had been the misuse of willpower. We had tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God’s intention for us (pg 40 Twelve Steps And Twelve Traditions).

So, how do we turn over our will to God?

One way to do this, is to verbally tell God, “I surrender my will to you. Let your will be done in me.” You can restate this as many times as you want throughout each day, especially during a craving or impulse to relapse.

How can surrendering our will to God help heal our addiction?

God’s energy is not addicted to any habits or substances, in this world. “For everything in the world-the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does-comes not from God but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever (1 John 2:16-17).

Gods main qualities are Light (1 John 1:5), and Love ( 1 John 4:16). When we ask for his energy to take over our minds and bodies, we allow for his light and love to be our source of operation, rather than our self-centered desires.

Surrendering our will over to the care of God as we understand him is just one more of many helpful ways to achieve addiction free-living.

Elisabeth Davies, MC

www.brightalternatives.com

Spirituality and its Effects on Addiction

Bright Alternatives Inc — Mon, 03 May 2010 23:14:16 +0000

I was noticing, that a significant number of addiction treatment facilities offer a spirituality component, as an effective tool to recovering addicts.

So, what is spirituality, and how can it help with recovery from addiction?

Spirituality, is being harmoniously connected to the source of life energy. Our breath is life energy. Everything that is alive and has changeable form, has spirit energy in it . God is spirit (John 4:24).

Often times, participating in our addiction disconnects us from the qualities of spirit and impedes our ability to create a purposeful, fulfilling life.

Spirit did not choose our addiction. Our physical desires sought out habits and substances, to relieve and temporarily disconnect us, from our overwhelmed life.

By allowing spirit to be bigger in us, than our self-seeking desires, our spiritual qualities will increase and our addictive qualities will decrease.

Qualities of spirit: Qualities of addiction:

*Love *Unpredictable moods

*Peace *Impulsive thoughts

*Patience *Blaming others for the way our life is

*Kindness *Self Centered choices

*Goodness *Inconsiderate of how we impact others

*Faithfulness *Not following through with promises

*Gentleness *Self-Critical and unforgiving

*Self-Control *Compulsive behaviors

Since our breath is life energy, one way to connect to spirit, and fill ourselves with spirit’s qualities, is through our breathing. Here is a breathing exercise that I do daily, to connect with spirit:

I find a place that is quiet, so I am not interrupted by noise. I close my eyes and focus on how my body breaths all by itself, without me assisting it in any way (This sends a message to the nervous system to relax). I focus on my breathing a few minutes, or until I feel my shoulders drop and relax. If I have any questions for spirit, I ask them.

Questions like, “Spirit, what are the effects you can have on a mind, that impulsively seeks relief from stress and worry?”

I listen for spirit, as it whispers, “I bring peace and it can calm.” Breathe in spirit, till it’s energy is bigger than your worries.

I ask spirit, “Where can I find help, to stop this self-destructive pattern I find myself in?”

Spirit gently says, “Seek and you will find. Ask and you will receive. For all is available to those who ask and seek.”

I ask spirit, “How can I not give into cravings and unwanted habits?”

Softly, I hear spirits response, “Habit’s can be changed. What would you like the new one to be?”

I ask spirit, “Can I heal from addiction without you?”

Spirit, in all it’s wisdom says,”You are in control. How are you doing so far?”

I ask spirit, “Will you still love me, and not leave me, even if I relapse a thousand times?”

I feel chills on my arms as I strain to hear spirit’s reply, ‘Our love for you is unconditional. We are always here with you.’ Love yourself more and your emotions will heal.

We can ask spirit anything we want to know. Spirit offers us connection to higher guidance, and unconditional love. It can also guide us to people who can help with our recovery.

Whether or not you decide to connect to spirit and develop spiritual qualities, It is important that you know, love is there for you, no matter what.

Elisabeth Davies, MC